I'll be honest - I was ready for the 2024 NFL season to end. Once the Week 15-16 mark hits, fatigue sets in. Especially when you're watching Bailey Zappe vs. whomever the Ravens backup was, as Joe Buck and Troy Aikman do their best to pretend they wouldn't rather be anywhere else in the world. Plus, the Super Bowl was the most uninspired matchup between two teams no one wanted - it was the Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns of Super Bowls. Albeit, the game turning into an exhibition squash was quite funny, but the incoming break remained a lovely thought.
It's now April, and I would eat a stranger's belly button lint just to watch Mac Jones vs. Aidan O'Connell on an October Thursday night - which is a pity because we haven't even reached the draft yet, Lord help us. However, we have crossed the finish line of the big free agency wave having come and gone. So, while we sit in the limbo of waiting for the 2025 NFL Draft, here are the pre-draft power rankings.
32. Tennessee Titans
While the Titans have no offensive line, they make up for it by having no quarterback. And while their defense can't cover, they also can't stop the run. And not for nothing, Brian Callahan looks like Dave from Love Is Blind and I don't trust a fella with that look. Good luck with Cam Ward, though.
31. New Orleans Saints
Hmm. An offense with one true weapon quarterbacked by Derek Carr. A defense in which most of their top players were born when Madonna was in her prime (Cam Jordan was born four months after "Like A Prayer" was released). All of whom are led by Kellen Moore - doesn't exactly scream "playoffs."
30. New York Giants
Picture this:
It's Week 4. The Giants are in Philadelphia playing the Eagles when Russell Wilson throws a pass directly into the chest of Cooper DeJean. Brian Daboll puts Russell Wilson in a chokehold while Jameis comes over to break it up.
"Coach," Jameis Winston says. "Let the devil not make of you what he wants. Let the lord deliver you from this temptation as we ascend into his glor-" he's cut off as Daboll punches him in the face and resigns on the spot.
29. Cleveland Browns
Myles Garrett went on a mini press tour during Super Bowl week talking about wanting to play for a championship contender. Then the Browns offered him $40 million per year, and he decided that maybe the Browns are a championship contender - what a waste of time. At least it looks like we're done talking about Deshaun Watson.
28. Indianapolis Colts
The Colts are bad, but at least they're entertaining. They are the Sharknado of the NFL. Few things are as silly as watching your favorite team on a Sunday afternoon and catching a glance at the ticker to see Anthony Richardson is 11-of-37 for 302 yards - what a hilarious football player... who might be replaced by Daniel Jones AND just like that, they're boring again.
27. New York Jets
I mean - it could work. The same way Sydney Sweeney could choose me to be her arm candy at the next red carpet event. Aaron Glenn feels like a good hire at head coach. The defense is still filled with talent. How good will Justin Fields play? This just feels like the same questions we've had about the Jets for years with a new cast of characters. If Robert Saleh and Aaron Rodgers was the Jets' Degrassi, Glenn and Fields are Degrassi: The Next Generation.
26. Jacksonville Jaguars
Alright, jokes aside, ...
