Latest in Made Retirement Joke
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Alan Shearer made retirement joke to Newcastle star after win vs Liverpool
Newcastle United legend Alan Shearer has joked that Dan Burn might as well retire after his goal in the win over Liverpool in the Carabao Cup final.Burn opened the scoring for the Magpies in a ...Yahoo Sports - Mar. 20 -
‘We joke about who’s getting their knees done’: the rock veterans still touring into their late 70s
Yoga and ice baths have replaced all-nighters, but musicians such as Graham Nash, Bonnie Raitt, Rick Wakeman and Elkie Brooks aren’t planning to retire any time soon. I always said I’d retire when ...The Guardian - Mar. 8 -
Blackhawks' Patrick Maroon, a 3-time Stanley Cup champion, says he's retiring after the season
Three-time Stanley Cup champion Patrick Maroon said he is retiring after this season. Maroon, who turns 37 next month, made the announcement in a pregame television interview before he and the ...Yahoo Sports - 5d -
Geriatric Penguins Get a ‘Retirement Home’ at New England Aquarium
Six African Penguins at the New England Aquarium in Boston have made a new home on an island designed to address the aches and pains of aging.The New York Times - Mar. 16 -
Güler, Szoboszlai continue feud: 'This guy a joke'
Real Madrid star Arda Güler called Liverpool's Dominik Szoboszlai "a joke" on Monday after the pair clashed in the UEFA Nations League game between Turkey and Hungary.ESPN - 1d -
Conan O'Brien to receive Mark Twain Prize for humor as politics roils Kennedy Center
On a night when half a dozen people made jokes about this being the last-ever Mark Twain Prize, Conan O’Brien made sure the ceremony at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts ended on a ...ABC News - 3d -
Conan O'Brien to receive Mark Twain Prize for humor as politics roils Kennedy Center
On a night when half a dozen people made jokes about this being the last-ever Mark Twain Prize, Conan O’Brien made sure the ceremony at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts ended on a ...ABC News - 3d -
Conan O'Brien to receive Mark Twain Prize for humor as politics roils Kennedy Center
On a night when half a dozen people made jokes about this being the last-ever Mark Twain Prize, Conan O’Brien made sure the ceremony at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts ended on a ...ABC News - 3d -
Kieran Culkin Asked for More Kids at the Oscars. When Is an In-Joke Worth the Risk?
Some personal stories can make the jump to crowd-pleasing anecdote without a hitch. But taking a private joke to prime time has its risks.The New York Times - Mar. 7 -
Jennifer Tilly Is In On the Joke
Jennifer Tilly, a poker champ and scream queen, talks about her hardscrabble past and fortunate present.The New York Times - 2d -
Jennifer Tilly Is In On the Joke
Jennifer Tilly, a poker champ and scream queen, talks about her hardscrabble past and fortunate present.The New York Times - 2d -
Jennifer Tilly Is In On the Joke
Jennifer Tilly, a poker champ and scream queen, talks about her hardscrabble past and fortunate present.The New York Times - 2d -
Trump jokes about 'backdating' NCAA March Madness bracket
President Trump joked with Fox News White House correspondent Peter Doocy about “backdating” an NCAA March Madness bracket after the college tournament has seen several upsets. Trump spoke with ...The Hill - 4d -
Nikki Glaser says she's 'scared' to tell political jokes
Comedian Nikki Glaser says she went from being too "angry" to tell political jokes to being too fearful. "I'm at the point now that if I don't say something political, it's because I'm scared to, ...The Hill - 3d -
Harry Redknapp jokes Thomas Tuchel is ‘German spy’ in leaked video
Harry Redknapp has been filmed joking that Thomas Tuchel is a “German spy” sent to “ruin” the England team while discussing the country’s new manager at a charity event.Yahoo Sports - 3h -
Harry Redknapp jokes Thomas Tuchel is ‘German spy’ in leaked video
Harry Redknapp has been filmed joking that Thomas Tuchel is a “German spy” sent to “ruin” the England team while discussing the country’s new manager at a charity event.Yahoo Sports - 3h -
Jim Nantz Announces Retirement Plans for The Masters
Jim Nantz's retirement from The Masters is now on the calendarYahoo Sports - 1d -
Brandon Graham retires: Here's what sealed his decision to walk away after 15 seasons with Eagles
Graham was fully sold on retirementCBS Sports - Mar. 18 -
Polish PM jokes about military service for new citizen Jesse Eisenberg
Polish Prime Minister Donald Tusk joked about actor Jesse Eisenberg undergoing military training after the film star was approved for Poland citizenship last week. The country introduced a new ...The Hill - Mar. 14 -
Former Tottenham defender Vertonghen to retire
Former Tottenham Hotspur defender Jan Vertonghen announces he will retire from professional football at the end of the season.Yahoo Sports - 2d -
Pappas considering Senate run after Shaheen announces retirement
Sen. Jeanne Shaheen announced her retirement on Wednesday.Politico - Mar. 12 -
Why did the Commanders sign formerly retired veteran NFL wide receiver?
Retiring and sitting out the 2024 season, Michael Gallup comes out of retirement, signing to play for Commanders' Dan Quinn.Yahoo Sports - 1d -
McCann retires as British MMA icon
Molly McCann says she "knocked on the door and opened it" after retiring from MMA following defeat by Alexia Thainara at UFC London.BBC News - 4d -
Mercury to retire Taurasi's No. 3 jersey in 2026
Diana Taurasi, who will have her No. 3 jersey retired by the Mercury in 2026, admits feeling "sad" over her decision to retire after 20 seasons in the WNBA.ESPN - Mar. 13 -
How Americans are spending their retirements at sea
The U.S. is seeing a surge of retirements as more than 4 million people will turn 65 this year. Some are choosing a life at sea for their golden years. CBS News' Nancy Chen has more.CBS News - Mar. 10 -
Comedian of Trump rally fame gets Netflix deal
Tony Hinchcliffe, the comedian who made multiple controversial jokes at a Trump rally in October, has received a Netflix deal. “Kill Tony is coming to Netflix. We're teaming up with Tony ...The Hill - Mar. 10 -
Scammers Stole Their Retirement Savings. Then the Tax Bill Arrived.
The victims pulled money out of their retirement accounts. The withdrawals had inflated their taxable income, even though the funds quickly disappeared.The New York Times - Mar. 8 -
Former England back-row Millar-Mills retires
Former England forward Harriet Millar-Mills announces her retirement from rugby.Yahoo Sports - Mar. 11 -
Callaghan retires from Northern Ireland duty
Former Northern Ireland captain Marissa Callaghan has announces her retirement from international football.Yahoo Sports - Mar. 14 -
Eagles' Graham officially retires after 15 seasons
Eagles star and fan favorite Brandon Graham officially announced his retirement Tuesday after 15 seasons in the NFL.ESPN - Mar. 18 -
England and Bristol Bears centre Reed retires
Bristol Bears centre Amber Reed, who was part of England's World Cup-winning squad in 2014, retires at the age of 33.Yahoo Sports - Mar. 19 -
Why did new Commanders receiver retire and then decide to return?
New Washington Commanders WR Michael Gallup retired last summer. He explained why he chose to retire and why he's returned.Yahoo Sports - 6d -
US Capitol Police chief retiring in May
U.S. Capitol Police Chief J. Thomas Manger is retiring in early May after serving more than four decades in law enforcement. Manger, who was hired after the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the Capitol, ...The Hill - Mar. 11 -
Retirement plan: Rams' Nacua aims to quit at 30
Rams wide receiver Puka Nacua wants to retire at 30. The 23-year-old said he'd like to follow a path similar to that of future Hall of Famer Aaron Donald, who retired at 33 after 10 years in the NFL.ESPN - 2d -
No Joke! Edible Arrangements Just Launched Edibles.com
The company best known for fruit bouquets is getting into the cannabis business.Inc. - Mar. 20 -
This retirement strategy is a 'game changer' for single-income, married couples, advisor says
If you're a single-income, married couple, you could use a spousal IRA to save more for retirement. Here's what to know.CNBC - Mar. 7 -
Asana CEO Dustin Moskovitz announces retirement, stock plummets 25%
Dustin Moskovitz, the CEO of Asana, will retire from the software company he co-founded in 2008.CNBC - Mar. 10 -
On this day: Celtics Danny Ainge, Terry Rozier born; Bob Cousy retired
On this day in Celtics history, Danny Ainge and Terry Rozier were born, and Bob Cousy retired.Yahoo Sports - Mar. 17 -
Retired Israeli general says Gaza strikes will mean more dead hostages
As Israel's renewed strikes kill hundreds in Gaza, a retired Israeli general says the assault will mean "more hostages dead," too.CBS News - Mar. 19 -
Tyson Fury warned over retirement and urged to take on new role in boxing
Fury retired in January, though not for the first time, and his US promoter Bob Arum has strong feelings on the heavyweight’s futureYahoo Sports - 14h
