I’ve lost contact with my mother and feel I’m the family pariah | Ask Philippa
Is there room for a more exploratory – rather than confrontational – dialogue?
The question I grew up as the scapegoat in a toxic family where my mother played her children off against each other. I went no-contact with her a few years ago and keep my interactions with my siblings to a minimum.
I am now the divorced mother of four young adults, all living away from home. I have a male relative who, with his partner, has become close to two of my children. Initially I welcomed this, but it has increasingly come at some cost to me. The relative has been expressing astonishment that a person who is such a mess (me, apparently) could have brought up such wonderful children. By doing that, they are trying to cause a rift between myself and the children. They have also become very friendly with my ex-husband, despite the latter never being interested in cultivating any sort of relationship with them until I ended the marriage.
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