I’ve got a new secret weapon against insomnia: a £20 strip of padded fabric

My wireless sleep headphones let me enter a one-woman sensory deprivation chamber every night. Heaven
I’m having a night-time love affair. A blinding, unwashed, entirely distracting relationship that I turn to when everyone else in my house is asleep. My new bedmate whispers in my ear when I’m supposed to be sleeping and leaves imprints on my neck in the morning. That’s right: I’m talking about my new sleep mask with built-in wireless speakers.
When I got pregnant last year, my body appeared to forget, entirely, how to sleep. Which was fun, as everyone around me started to joke rather grimly about precisely how tired I was about to make myself for the next 18 years. But then my husband presented me with a small, padded strip of grey velvet fabric, through which I can play precisely the sort of soporific audio that quells even my most brutal insomnia.
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