My sister is stressed and distant. I want to help but don’t know how | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

As the older, ‘parentified’ child, it sounds like your sister has taken on extra responsibilities all her life. She might appreciate you wanting to show you care
• Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a problem sent in by a reader

I am in my 30s and the middle child of three sisters. We don’t see one another that often as we live across the UK, but try to speak regularly and meet up a few times a year.

I have always seen my older sister as more of a mum figure as our mum was explosive, cold and critical (we all have very little contact with her now). However, over the past few years our relationship has become more strained. Ultimately, I miss the closeness we had, but I’m also concerned for her wellbeing as she seems so stressed and overwhelmed.

Topics

I Regret How I Treated My Kids

Obsessing over the past is taking over my life.
The New York Times - 6d
I Do Not Want Revenge for My Father’s Death

My father’s killer is being released to save hostages.
The New York Times - Feb. 9
I feel happier and healthier when not around my mother | Ask Philippa

When parental relationships fall short of fulfilling our own emotional needs, they can leave us feeling at fault. The question I’m overwhelmed by fear, shame, guilt and anxiety about my ...
The Guardian - Feb. 9
I want to leave my home to my children from my first marriage — not to my second husband. Is that ethical and fair?

“My husband has two children, who also have a mother and grandparents who have an inheritance to leave them.”
MarketWatch - 1h
My son’s father died, but his stepmother won’t return his calls. We don’t even know if there’s a will. What now?

“My son is hurt, to say the least, that she is acting this way.”
MarketWatch - Feb. 8
I was a evangelical Christian for 35 years – until my transgressive big sister gave me the courage to break free | Josie McSkimming

My sister Dorothy Porter was a bohemian gay poet; I was a respectable church handmaiden. But she cracked the door open for me to start seeing the world differently. Get our weekend culture and ...
The Guardian - Feb. 12
Successful people don’t ask for feedback, says Wharton psychologist—here’s how they get better instead

If you want actionable takeaways from your next one-on-one with your boss, don't ask for feedback, says Wharton psychologist Adam Grant: Ask for advice instead.
CNBC - Feb. 11
‘I don’t know whether it’s sustainable’: climate crisis and TikTok change face of mountain rescue work in Lake District

There may be less snow but the number of callouts has surged, and often involve ill-prepared novice hikers. When Neil Barrow first volunteered with mountain rescue 40 years ago, for weeks on end ...
The Guardian - 5d
‘I didn’t want to spend time with my children. I was just going through the motions’: the pain of parental burnout

Most people with small children are worn out – but for some, the pressure of striving to be perfect parents can drive them to the edge. . ‘I cried like someone had died,” Rachel Stern says of the ...
The Guardian - 4d

More from The Guardian

Trump criticized for ‘dangerous’ comments calling Zelenskyy a ‘dictator’ as European leaders rush to contain crisis – live

German leader condemns US president attack as ‘wrong’ while UK and French leaders plan Washington visit in effort to influence US talks with Russia. Lavrov also speaks about Russia’s alliances ...
The Guardian - 5m
Musk boasts about ‘thrashing bureaucracy’ as Trump expands power grab over independent agencies – US politics live

Billionaire claims he is implementing ‘will of the people’; regulatory agencies now accountable to the White House in potential violation of constitution. Trump signs order making independent ...
The Guardian - 4m
Melting glaciers caused almost 2cm of sea level rise this century, study reveals

Decades-long research shows world’s glaciers collectively lost 6.542tn tonnes of ice between 2000 and 2023. Melting glaciers have caused almost 2cm of sea level rise this century alone, a ...
The Guardian - 2h
Brazilians hail strength of democracy as Bolsonaro is called to account

‘In Brazil coup-mongers go to jail. In the US they get back into the White House,’ says one leading politician. Brazilian democrats have celebrated the strength of their country’s judiciary and ...
The Guardian - 27m
Hamas offers handover of all hostages to Israel if next phase of ceasefire agreed

Benjamin Netanyahu signals readiness for talks on second phase by appointing adviser Ron Dermer to lead delegation. Hamas has said it is ready to release all its remaining hostages in a single ...
The Guardian - 3h

More in World

Aston Villa v Liverpool: Premier League – live

Premier League updates from the 7.30pm GMT kick-off Live scores | Top scorers | Football Daily | Email Will A bad start to the night for Liverpool. . Arne Slot on Aston Villa’s forward ...
The Guardian - 3m
Musk boasts about ‘thrashing bureaucracy’ as Trump expands power grab over independent agencies – US politics live

Billionaire claims he is implementing ‘will of the people’; regulatory agencies now accountable to the White House in potential violation of constitution. Trump signs order making independent ...
The Guardian - 4m
Real Madrid v Manchester City: Champions League playoff round, second leg – live

Champions League, 8pm GMT kick-off ( first leg: 3-2 ) Aston Villa v Liverpool: our Premier League liveblog Live scores | Read today’s Football Daily | Mail Michael I bet Michael Owen ...
The Guardian - 5m
Trump criticized for ‘dangerous’ comments calling Zelenskyy a ‘dictator’ as European leaders rush to contain crisis – live

German leader condemns US president attack as ‘wrong’ while UK and French leaders plan Washington visit in effort to influence US talks with Russia. Lavrov also speaks about Russia’s alliances ...
The Guardian - 5m
European Leaders Try to Recalibrate After Trump Sides With Russia on Ukraine

The American president’s latest remarks embracing Vladimir Putin’s narrative that Ukraine is to blame for the war have compounded the sense of alarm among traditional allies.
The New York Times - 16m