My mother, the racist
She spent her life in northern France doing exhausting, back-breaking work – and yet she turned her anger against people who had done no wrongs to her. But as much as I couldn’t stand her rants, I was forced to accept her as she was
When I reconnected with my mother after years of near total absence, years in which we barely spoke, I was struck with compassion for this old woman suffering from so much pain. I even felt a tenderness towards her. This was despite everything that had driven us apart and continued to divide us. Her obsessive racism dismayed me, but in order to avoid always being in conflict, I would only protest half-heartedly when she launched into one of her habitual diatribes (herself the daughter of an immigrant, a traveller from Andalucía) against “foreigners”, who came to “our home” instead of staying “where they came from” (“It doesn’t even feel like home here any more”, “They take everything and there’s nothing left for us”), against “Arabs”, or “Blacks”, or “Chinese”, all of whom she complained about endlessly. (The language she used was often considerably cruder than this.)
It was in part so I would no longer have to listen to this kind of talk that I had stopped seeing her and had fled both my family and this milieu. Nothing had changed after all this time: on this point, as on many others, she was the same as before. And yet, if I wished to spend time with her – and I did wish to, or at least it was something I felt I should do – I was going to have to accept her as she was. Nothing about her was going to change! And when I did dare to give expression to my annoyance, she would reply in a firm, almost aggressive tone: “I can say what I want in my own home. You can’t tell me what to do.” I had no choice but to try to understand her, to understand how and why she had become this way, and to put aside my spontaneous reactions of dismay.
Continue reading...-
My stepmother inherited 100% of my father’s estate. She’s leaving everything to her two kids. Is that fair?
“I had a wonderful relationship with my father.”MarketWatch - 2d -
‘This woman destroyed my heart and soul’: After my wife died, her mother turned on me — and presented me with a secret will
“She flipped a switch and instantly my wife’s entire family hated me.”MarketWatch - 22h -
‘I cried about my breast cancer – but I didn’t throw a pity party’: Anastacia on hardship, hits and humour
Twenty-five years after her debut album, the star is still loving life as a ‘continual working girl’. She talks about menopause, mastectomy and her bizarre failure to crack her native America. ...The Guardian - Mar. 11 -
Columbia student who had visa suddenly revoked shares fears, says she hopes to clear her name
PhD candidate and Columbia student Ranjani Srinivasan says she fled from the U.S. after her student visa was suddenly revoked. The issue appeared to stem from last year's pro-Palestinian protests ...CBS News - 2h -
My wife is my best friend. How do I tell her I want an open marriage?
I want us to stay together, but our sex drives are very different and I need to feel desired without the guilt of a secret affair. I am a thirtysomething woman and have been with my partner ...The Guardian - 7h -
Her sudden pain was an aortic tear. An iPhone ultrasound saved her life.
Sara Adair knew she was at risk for a life-threatening aortic dissection after her father and sister experienced the same deadly condition.CBS News - 3d -
My Mother Is Punishing Me for Not Coming Out to Her Sooner. Help!
A young reader variously subjected to cruel words and the silent treatment is reaching the end of her rope with her mother, who has portrayed her daughter’s coming out as deceit.The New York Times - 6d -
Trump defends Amy Coney Barrett: ‘She’s a very good woman’
President Trump defended Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett, calling her a “very good woman” even as she breaks with conservatives on some issues. “She’s a very good woman. She’s very smart, ...The Hill - Mar. 10 -
How an Iowa woman became a key witness in her own murder
The last words spoken by Angela Prichard, 55, an Iowa wife and mother who called 911 to report she was in danger, was the first clue investigators had to identify her killer.CBS News - 2d
More from The Guardian
-
Israel shatters Gaza ceasefire as more than 400 Palestinians killed in IDF strikes – Middle East crisis live
Benjamin Netanyahu says attacks were carried out to ‘achieve war objectives’ as Hamas labels strikes a ‘blatant violation of humanitarian conventions’. Israeli strikes kill hundreds in Gaza ...The Guardian - 23m -
Israeli strikes kill hundreds in Gaza
Palestinian health authorities report 400 deaths as IDF hits dozens of sites across territory. Israeli-Gaza – latest updates Israel’s military has ordered an evacuation of parts of eastern ...The Guardian - 4h -
World leaders express outrage at Israel’s renewed bombing of Gaza civilians
Strikes said to target Hamas killed hundreds within hours including women and children, undermining ceasefire. Middle East crisis – live updates World governments and UN officials have ...The Guardian - 2h -
Why has Israel resumed large-scale airstrikes on Gaza?
Officials claim attacks will bring release of more hostages, but some suggest political factors at play for Netanyahu. Middle East crisis – live updates Israel has resumed large-scale attacks ...The Guardian - 5h -
Germany votes on debt break amid Ukraine fears as Putin-Trump call set to take place – Europe live
US and Russian presidents will speak on phone today as Bundestag votes on releasing a €500bn infrastructure fund to boost German defence. Trump and Putin to hold high-stakes call on Ukraine ...The Guardian - 47m
More in World
-
Tennis stars accuse governing bodies of ‘cartel’ to deny them more prize money
Players’ group behind lawsuit is affiliated with sports company backed by hedge fund tycoon Bill AckmanFinancial Times - 15m -
What to Know About Israel’s Renewed Assault on Gaza
The deadly airstrikes shattered a period of relative calm and raised the prospect of a return to all-out war.The New York Times - 17m -
Live Updates: Israel Carries Out Deadly Strikes in Gaza and Warns of Intensified Attacks
The assaults targeting Hamas killed more than 400 people, local officials said, and were the first major strikes in Gaza since both sides agreed to a truce in January.The New York Times - 18m -
Trump’s Focus on Ukrainian Nuclear Plant Is Partly Linked to Minerals Deal, Officials Say
The U.S. is seeking access to Ukrainian minerals, which require extensive energy to process. The Zaporizhzhia power plant in southern Ukraine, which Russia controls, could help with that, Kyiv says.The New York Times - 19m -
Israel shatters Gaza ceasefire as more than 400 Palestinians killed in IDF strikes – Middle East crisis live
Benjamin Netanyahu says attacks were carried out to ‘achieve war objectives’ as Hamas labels strikes a ‘blatant violation of humanitarian conventions’. Israeli strikes kill hundreds in Gaza ...The Guardian - 23m