And now for the pinchline: competition crowns world’s funniest crab joke
Inaugural contest at Crab Museum in Margate allows crustaceans to pick the winner, with the help of tinned fish used as bait
How did the crab get out of prison? And why did the crab get bad grades?
The answers to these conundrums and other clawsome jokes were among the competitors for the inaugural World’s Funniest Crab Joke competition, held by the Crab Museum in Margate to celebrate International Crab Day.
What do you call a red crab piggybacking another red crab all around the town? A double-decapod.
A horseshoe crab walks into a bar. “Why the ventral face?” the bartender asks. The crab replies: “Mind your own business and please tip a pint of lager and a packet of crisps on to the pub carpet.”
How did the crab get out of prison? It used its escape claws.
Why didn’t the crab help the chicken cross the road? Because it was eaten by a pelican crossing.
What did the sea urchin say to the crab? Please sir, can I have some claw?
What format do you have to save photos of crab soup on to? Floppy bisque.
A man walks into a restaurant with a crab under his arm and says: “Do you make crab cakes?” The manager answers: “Yes, we do.” “Good,” says the man, “because it’s his birthday.”
How do barnacles get around? A taxi crab.
Why did the crab cross the road? It didn’t. It used the sidewalk.
Why did the crab get bad grades? Because it was below C level.
Continue reading...Date: |
Filter
-
Kingdom Of The Planet Of The Apes Review - It's Caesar's World Now
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes has been a tough movie for me to wrap my brain around. It works very well in a moment-to-moment way--the characters are interesting, the action is well-staged, and the world is a compelling one to learn about. But ...GameSpot - Tech -
Nintendo World Championships: NES Edition Preorders Are Live At Best Buy
The first Nintendo World Championships took place in 1990, giving the best players in the world a chance to face off in some of the most iconic games of all time. Fast-forward to today, and Nintendo is doing much the same for 2024. But instead of ...GameSpot - Tech -
Nintendo World Championships NES Edition Confirmed After ESRB Rating Leak
After an ESRB rating for the game appeared out of thin air last week, Nintendo has officially revealed Nintendo World Championships: NES Edition, a compilation of NES-themed minigames focused on speed. The company has also confirmed a July 18 ...GameSpot - Tech -
A Former N.F.L. Player Bought a Pub in England. Then His World Imploded.
Lorne Sam said he’s dealt with discrimination in a small English village because “I’m different. And the difference is that I’m American and I’m Black.”The New York Times - Sports -
The Voice Coach Battle will debut in The Sandbox immersive game world
The Voice talent show is taking a leap into the metaverse with The Voice Coach Battle, a new show that will debut in The Sandbox.VentureBeat - Tech -
Democrats impeached Trump for exactly what Biden is now doing to Israel
Biden, who needs votes from an angry, antisemitic base of young college progressives, is putting politics ahead of a longstanding ally — in fact, ahead of obeying the law and delivering aid to that ally.The Hill - Politics - Joe Biden -
Indian Americans, who now outnumber Chinese Americans, are awakening to their political power
Indian Americans surpassed Chinese in U.S. population, and experts say Trump and Biden need to set their focus on them. From Israel and Gaza to gun control, they're more sure than ever of what they want.NBC News - Top stories -
Affirm’s upbeat earnings reflect differentiated buy-now-pay-later approach
Affirm, the buy-now-pay-later company, issued upbeat results and guidance.MarketWatch - Business -
These 3 precious metal investments make sense right now, experts say
Gold isn't the only precious metal you might want to buy in today's market.CBS News - Top stories
More from The Guardian
-
World’s top climate scientists expect global heating to blast past 1.5C target
Exclusive: Planet is headed for at least 2.5C of heating with disastrous results for humanity, poll of hundreds of scientists finds. ‘Hopeless and broken’: why the world’s top climate scientists are in despairHundreds of the world’s leading ...The Guardian - World - Climate -
Rafah hospitals in danger of being overwhelmed, say Gaza doctors
Patients said to have been moved on donkey carts from evacuated hospital, in situation described as ‘catastrophic’ . Hospitals in Rafah risk being overwhelmed by a wave of sick and injured if the fighting there intensifies and routes into Gaza ...The Guardian - World -
Olaf Scholz condemns attacks on politicians after third assault in a week
German chancellor says attacks are ‘outrageous and cowardly’ after politicians have been hit and injured in Germany. Germany’s chancellor, Olaf Scholz, has strongly condemned a rash of attacks on politicians after a senator and former mayor of ...The Guardian - World -
Steve Albini, US alt-rock musician and producer, dies aged 61
Vocalist, guitarist and producer for bands such as Nirvana and Pixies suffers heart attack at his recording studio. Steve Albini, the vocalist, guitarist and producer who helmed a series of the most esteemed albums across the US alternative music ...The Guardian - World -
EU reaches deal on using profits from Russia’s frozen assets for Ukraine
10% of the windfall profits will fund non-lethal aid to assuage EU member states that do not wish to fund arms. The EU has reached a deal to seize profits from Russia’s frozen assets to fund weapons and aid for Ukraine within months.. EU senior ...The Guardian - World - Ukraine