My weekend highlight was a unicorn attacking Martin Brundle

Martin Brundle interviews a unicorn in the pit lane in Shanghai — Martin Brundle meets his match in the pit lane in Shanghai - X

The earth was without form, and void. And darkness was over the face of the deep, for it was international break weekend and there was no proper sport on the telly. No decent football, no decent cricket, no decent rugby and yet still so, so much sport: many hundreds of hours of programming, and yet hardly anything you would want to watch. Poor Martin Brundle being set upon by a unicorn was the most memorable moment.

Just Martin meeting Xue Zhang 🦄😅 pic.twitter.com/tnKADbk6z7
— Sky Sports F1 (@SkySportsF1) March 23, 2025

By Sunday evening, you were crying out for something, for anything. An update on the job security of Ruud van Nistelrooy. Jamie Redknapp breaking his silence on Bournemouth. Something about Everton, even. But no. That mad American billionaire lad who wants to live forever should plug himself in front of British telly on an international weekend, that would jolt him out of it.

How were they filled then, these dreary hours, this long dark teatime of the soul? In large part, by marvelling at just how much live sporting action you can watch on TV if you are minded to, and minded to this column very much is.

Sunday morning, 0530 hours, Adelaide United Women v Brisbane Roar Women on TNT Sports 8. How many people are going to be watching that, deliberately at least? Is it a number bigger than zero? I say it was on at 5.30am but in fact a case of “what time can you get here, we’ll start it then”. In China, everyone drives around in formation for a bit and then McLaren win.

The BBC had acres of live sporting coverage on Sunday daytime. Never mind the quality, feel the width. In the morning on BBC2, indoor athletics – the second-best sort of athletics after outdoor athletics – and then a repeat of The Hairy Bikers’ Cookbook: Pies and Pasties, to get you in the mood for a rugger match. That was between England and Italy women and sorry to say, it’s back to la boarda di drawingo for the finest rugby ragazze from the Dolomites to Calabria. Very sad!

England's Sarah Bern in action during the Guinness Women's Six Nations match against Italy at the LNER Community Stadium, York on March 23, 2025 — England against Italy in the women’s Six Nations was predictably one-sided, with the former winning 38-5 - PA/Mike Egerton

On BBC1 at the same time, Women’s Super League football as Manchester City played Chelsea. What can you really say? It is good that it exists. It is right that it’s on the national broadcaster. You do not have to watch it. The player who scored City’s opener, a dribbling shot from inside the box that the keeper watched roll across the line, marked the moment with her take on Cristiano Ronaldo’s famous (famously annoying) leap and wide leg plant “Siu!” celebration. It is wholesome that the women’s game is absent of the tribalism that would spark a social media firestorm if a Man City bloke was cosplaying as a Man United icon. But the whole enterprise lacks bite, and it is nothing to do with the fact that the players are less explosive over 15 yards. It is because you cannot hate the Chelsea Women’s side (for instance) and take a spiteful pleasure in them losing, which as any true football fan knows, is the main reason to watch teams other than your own on the TV. Most of us have yet to form meaningful associations to, or anti, these distaff sporting entities so it all just washes over you.

The men’s rugby on at the weekend was not the real McCoy because it was missing the international players, although it should be said that the TNT coverage of rugby is really strong at the moment and if its parent company does continue its broadcast rights land-grab then rugger viewers will be well served, albeit at a price. There was IPL cricket but, see above, it is hard to really get behind the New Delhi Air Fryers or the Royal Mumbai Silverfish: guns for hire, plus fireworks. Woo. Ahh. Give me four days in the April sleet at New Road Worcester any day. Pakistan were playing New Zealand in a T20 international, again on TNT, but that is the sort of match which is hard to really care about unless you have had a bet.

Also this weekend: Tactics Tim Sherwood saying England will have failed if they do not win the World Cup. Biathlon skiing. Snowboarding. Televised triathlon, featuring that rather intense, recently divorced man from accounts. Video games on Sky Sports Premier League. Lesser tournaments in snooker, darts and golf. Racing from Carlisle, Exeter, Limerick and Naas. The Scotland national football team. All told, too much of a not very good thing. Come back Gary Neville, all is forgiven.

Broaden your horizons with award-winning British journalism. Try The Telegraph free for 1 month with unlimited access to our award-winning website, exclusive app, money-saving offers and more.

Topics

Barrabool can land biggest prize on racing’s £550,000 Go North weekend

Weekend offers decent money for horses just below the top rung and Barrabool is one to watch. The weekends between the Cheltenham festival and Aintree’s Grand National meeting will never be an ...
The Guardian - 4d
🎥 Top five MLS goals of the weekend

Plenty of big-name stars were absent because of the international break, but that doesn't mean Major League Soccer didn't deliver the goods. Here are the best goals from Matchday 5 over the ...
Yahoo Sports - 21h
Saturn's rings will temporarily 'disappear' this weekend

Saturn’s iconic rings will appear to be invisible starting this weekend because of the way the planet's tilt aligns with Earth's.
NBC News - 3d
Rick Pitino vs. John Calipari: Rivalry once stoked in hate gets proper resurrection Saturday in March Madness

These two classic foes facing off one more time, with a Sweet 16 trip on the line, is the matchup of the weekend
CBS Sports - 4d
'You started this': Attacks on Alawites in Syria highlight deep divisions

The recent surge of violence in Syria lays bare the challenges interim leader Ahmed al-Sharaa faces in delivering on his promise to lead a more unified country.
NBC News - 2d
Venus passes between the Earth and sun this weekend -- but don't try to look for it

Venus will pass between the Earth and sun during what’s called an inferior conjunction
ABC News - 5d
Venus passes between the Earth and sun this weekend -- but don't try to look for it

Venus will pass between the Earth and sun during what’s called an inferior conjunction
ABC News - 5d
Venus passes between the Earth and sun this weekend -- but don't try to look for it

Venus will pass between the Earth and sun during what’s called an inferior conjunction
ABC News - 5d
5️⃣ spicy fixtures you must watch this weekend 🌶

The international break has brought a pause to the club campaign but there’s still plenty of interesting action to take in this weekend.Here are our five must-watch games.5️⃣ spicy fixtures you ...
Yahoo Sports - 4d

My weekend highlight was a unicorn attacking Martin Brundle

Topics

Related

Barrabool can land biggest prize on racing’s £550,000 Go North weekend

🎥 Top five MLS goals of the weekend

Saturn's rings will temporarily 'disappear' this weekend

Rick Pitino vs. John Calipari: Rivalry once stoked in hate gets proper resurrection Saturday in March Madness

'You started this': Attacks on Alawites in Syria highlight deep divisions

Venus passes between the Earth and sun this weekend -- but don't try to look for it

Venus passes between the Earth and sun this weekend -- but don't try to look for it

Venus passes between the Earth and sun this weekend -- but don't try to look for it

5️⃣ spicy fixtures you must watch this weekend 🌶

More from Yahoo Sports

S. Africa take big World Cup lead, but may lose points over Mokoena

Kim Mulkey laments JuJu Watkins injury, calls her 'such a great ambassador of our game'

The Astros brought Cam Smith’s family into the clubhouse to surprise him about making the big-league roster

The Astros brought Cam Smith’s family into the clubhouse to surprise him about making the big-league roster

Bills have big plans for Dalton Kincaid after injury-filled second season

More in Sports

Cal Raleigh contract extension: Mariners locking up star catcher on six-year, $105 million deal, per reports

S. Africa take big World Cup lead, but may lose points over Mokoena

Kim Mulkey laments JuJu Watkins injury, calls her 'such a great ambassador of our game'

Bills have big plans for Dalton Kincaid after injury-filled second season

The Astros brought Cam Smith’s family into the clubhouse to surprise him about making the big-league roster