Wretched, haunted but human: David Coote was made by modern football | Barney Ronay

Refereeing is basically a nightmare now. Is it really a huge surprise a Premier League official should end up brutalised and spitting toxins on a sofa?

Farewell then, David Coote. You were the one who looks a bit like a hungover version of Ross from Friends. Let’s take a look at your best bits. Not sending off Jordan Pickford for an attempted amputation at Goodison Park. Not sending off Fabinho for performing on-spec achilles keyhole surgery on Evan Ferguson at the Amex.

Plus of course, the decision to let yourself be filmed propped up on a sofa, saying all the bad stuff out loud, and in the process completing the amazing character arc of the English football referee, from taciturn northern master butcher, to the current crop of beleaguered full-time reality TV stars.

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