Why can I only ever enjoy sex with a partner when we’re in the ‘honeymoon stage’?

After the initial magic wears off, I struggle with intimacy. I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with me

I’m a 27-year-old woman. Each of my relationships starts out with a new, exciting honeymoon stage, which eventually gives way to me not caring about sex. Life gets in the way, with the kids and family problems, but why am I never, ever aroused like before? I have a recent disability that causes me pain, which isn’t helping the situation with my current partner. But I’m at the point where I think there’s something wrong internally, such as hormonal issues. I’m only 27, so getting a professional to check this out is nearly impossible.

Pain will certainly diminish sexual desire, so at the moment it is not surprising that you do not feel desirous or have difficulty becoming aroused or achieving orgasm.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.

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Why can I only ever enjoy sex with a partner when we’re in the ‘honeymoon stage’?

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