‘Talk about it, focus on your values and … stay stoic’: how to cope with rejection

From the workplace to romance to friends, everything you need to know about rejection – and how to move on from it

Rejection is an inevitable part of the human experience, but despite suffering major and minor rebuffs throughout our lives, every time it happens still feels painful. From the first “no thanks” from someone you fancy at school to the kick in the stomach of a “we have decided to move forward with another candidate” letter, every rejection dents our ego.

Humans are hardwired to crave acceptance. “It’s in our blood,” says Hilda Burke, a psychotherapist, couples counsellor and author. In early human societies, she explains, “to be rejected by your community would have posed a serious threat, as individuals did not have the resources to survive alone. We are pack animals.”

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