Scatter cushions and bedspreads – can someone explain to me what they’re for? | Adrian Chiles
Every night I hurl them off the bed. Every morning they are replaced. Off, on, off, on, for ever. Serving no purpose whatsoever.
Scatter cushions and bedspreads. Why? What for? If it wasn’t for the waste and environmental impact, I’d make a huge pile and torch them all. You’d see the fire from the moon. Alternatively, pick them apart and make something useful out of them. I’d collect them by means of a national scatter cushion and bedspread amnesty. Post them to a facility and leave the rest to me.
Let’s take bedspreads first. Big, heavy, useless. Especially the one on the bed at my mum’s house. I can’t always summon the strength to drag it off the bed and leave it in a heap on the floor. If I do, along with leaving no floor space for anything else, this earns me a fierce bollocking. I am commanded to heave it out of the bedroom and hang it on the bannister, which creaks beneath its formidable weight. Then, when my stay is over, I have to wrangle the bedspread back on to the bed, as it is far too heavy for her to handle. I always ask what purpose it serves. I’ve never had an answer.
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