No matter how hard he tries, my boyfriend can’t find my G-spot
I’ve actually started to laugh at our increasingly desperate attempts, but it’s putting me off sex altogether
My boyfriend has been searching for my G-spot for weeks. He has tried every angle, but whenever he does, it feels really uncomfortable – almost like being constipated. He tried using a vibrator with different settings, but I still didn’t feel very much. In fact I laughed as it was funny to see how desperate we have become. I try touching myself, but even then I can’t manage to orgasm. I don’t even look forward to sex any more.
If you turn sex into a task or challenge, it will never be satisfying. A thrilling erotic connection between people rarely occurs when the focus of sex becomes performing well, achieving a goal or having that elusive experience your friends or the media said you should have. I’m glad you have started to find this funny, because that will help you to relax. The anxiety that accompanies the way you are both approaching sex will prevent you from achieving the main point of sex: pleasure. Stop trying so hard. Simply have un-pressured fun together and allow good feelings to arise in a natural way.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.
If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.
Continue reading...Date: |
-
Lifestyle - The New York Times
Reading With My Father
A conversation through books.9 hours ago -
Top stories - BBC News
'Why is my endometriosis treatment not urgent?'
Wales' gynaecology waiting list rates are among the highest in the UK, according to specialists.13 hours ago -
Business - The Wall Street Journal
Why Pfizer Will Find It Hard to Appease Its Activist Investor
The drugmaker has cut costs already and has no coming product approvals or research that could offer a quick lift.14 hours ago -
Tech - Wired
This Homemade Drone Software Finds People When Search and Rescue Teams Can’t
British Mountain Rescue workers have developed an automated drone system that can scour a landscape far quicker and more thoroughly than human eyes.Yesterday -
Business - Inc.
My Employee’s Toddler Screams During Work Calls
… and two other tricky workplace dilemmas.Yesterday -
Top stories - BBC News
My pilgrimage to the vanishing Sphinx snow patch
The Sphinx, a patch of snow thought to be the longest-lasting in the UK, has melted for the fourth consecutive year.13 hours ago -
Top stories - CBS News
When will my credit card debt become uncollectible?
The timeline for uncollectible credit card debt varies — but knowing when it could happen can be helpful.4 hours ago -
Top stories - CBS News
Will credit card debt forgiveness cover my $20,000 debt?
Whether or not credit card debt forgiveness will work for you depends, in part, on the total amount you owe.Yesterday -
World - The Guardian
‘It hurts my reputation’: Leicester’s Cheika felt unwanted over ban
Tigers coach was suspended after doctor row at Exeter ‘I was really disappointed – I didn’t think it was fair’ Leicester’s director of rugby, Michael Cheika, has questioned the decision to ...10 hours ago
More from The Guardian
-
World - The Guardian
Hurricane Milton could be ‘worst storm to hit Florida in over a century’, Joe Biden warns – live updates
US president issues dire warning as vice-president urged Floridians to heed evacuation orders. Tell us: how have you been affected by Hurricane Milton? . Bob Woodward’s forthcoming book “War” ...30 minutes ago - Joe Biden -
World - The Guardian
Trump secretly gave Putin Covid test machines, Bob Woodward book says
‘Please don’t tell anybody,’ Russian president advised, according to new book from veteran Watergate reporter. US politics live – follow updates Donald Trump secretly sent Covid-19 testing ...1 hour ago - Donald Trump -
World - The Guardian
Middle East crisis live: Netanyahu says Israel has ‘taken out’ Nasrallah’s successors and warns Lebanon faces destruction ‘like Gaza’
Israeli PM claims forces have taken out ‘Nasrallah’s replacement, and the replacement of the replacement’ as he makes dire warning to Lebanon. Turkey will evacuate its citizens who have applied to ...33 minutes ago - Israel -
World - The Guardian
Anger and disgust in Mexico over beheading of newly sworn-in city mayor
Country’s new president to set out public security plans after murder of Alejandro Arcos Catalán in Chilpancingo. Mexico’s new government has been shaken by the murder of a city mayor who was ...4 hours ago - Mexico -
World - The Guardian
Spanish tennis star Paula Badosa apologises after being accused of racism
Badosa pulled eyes back with chopsticks in photograph ‘I didn’t know this was offensive. I take responsibility’ The Spanish tennis star Paula Badosa has apologised after she was accused of ...2 hours ago