‘Mummy would prefer you not to do that’: how ‘no’ became a dirty word in parenting

The gentle, child-led approach to raising children has become popular with millennials – and one two-letter word has fallen sharply out of fashion. Is this progress, or a recipe for future disaster?

If you’ve been to a playground recently, I’ll hazard a guess that you have witnessed parents going to extraordinary lengths to avoid bad language. But it’s not those delicious four-letter words they’re so worried about. It’s a simple two-letter word that parents have come to fear: no.

You know the sort of thing: “I understand that you’re feeling cross right now, darling, but when you throw sand at me, it hurts.” “Please don’t throw that handful of pebbles at Mummy. It doesn’t make me feel nice.” “You’re feeling frustrated but we don’t eat two ice-creams before lunch.”

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