How writing about female cannibals changed my relationship with food
Describing issues of autonomy, femgore, worth and hunger all had ain impact on what I wrote and how I felt about myself, says Lucy Rose
My conflict with food began before I was born. According to family lore, I couldn’t be sated, even in utero. I consumed everything, apparently putting my twin at such risk that we were delivered prematurely. There are even stories of me climbing into my twin’s crib late at night and stealing their milk bottle, swapping it out with my empty one. I’ve always felt hunger, but I soon learned to associate “want” with shame.
In 2020, I started working on a novel about mother and daughter cannibals, who lure lost souls to their rural forest homestead and bake them into pies and stews. It wasn’t a conscious choice to write about women with a carnal desire to feast, but slowly, deep into drafting – which is a very physical act for me because I write by longhand – I realised that my relationship with food and consumption was changing. Exposure to these women, who binged without guilt or inhibition, forced me to confront my fraught relationship with food, and in turn, eventually, heal it.
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