‘Alcohol became a second self to blame for my desire’: how drinking fuelled my experiences of sex

Since her teens, Anna Beecher used drinking as a gateway to sexual encounters, a mask for both her vulnerability and accountability. It took falling for someone in the sober light of day to realise what love was

I first got drunk at 13 in the upstairs room of a cheap Italian restaurant, sip by sip on other people’s wine. I giggled as the floor lurched, telling my companions, It’s like being on a boat.

I first got paralytic at 13, a few months on. Remembering the pleasant, silly sensation I’d experienced, I went to a party and drank a pint of gin. Slipping in and out of consciousness, I was vaguely aware of piss seeping through my trousers and the kids around me debating whether or not to call an ambulance.