So, you want yourself a big goal-scoring machine to take your team up a level in both the Premier League landscape and world football in general, and you know it's going to cost you,
You're also hoping not to put your team at risk of Financial Fair Play woes by not just breaking the bank but incinerating it by trying to purchase an Alexander Isak. Conversely, you don't want to put your eggs in baskets labeled "teenage prospect" or "less-proven lottery ticket."
In other words, you want to Three Bears this thing — Not too big, not too small, but just right.
Who could be your guy this summer? We're here for that.
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Let's start by eliminating the record-clobbering guys, or at least who should be a record-clobbering guy. With all due respect to Rasmus Hojlund or Antony, if we're going to spend close to nine figures on a player, he's going to have either a much-stronger resume and/or fewer question marks when it comes to making the leap to the Premier League.
Once upon a time there were very few players in world football that could cost $80 million or more. Currently, about 40 players have cost that figure on the market and more than 75% of those moves have happened in the last decade.
Yes, even good bets miss or don't hit their perceived heights. Timo Werner and Kai Havertz felt safe bets to be instant stars upon their Premier League moves. The former never hit and the latter took plenty of time to hit that mark and some might say he still is wide of it.
Which players in the world right now are unquestionably threatening the suspensions of several armored cars? Transfermarkt lists Erling Haaland, Kylian Mbappe, Bukayo Saka, Cole Palmer, Alexander Isak, Julian Alvarez, and Harry Kane as those with market values nearing or well-above $100 million. The next tier down includes Michael Olise, Khvicha Kvaratskhelia, and Raphinha (For this practice, we'll also exclude recent Man City buy Omar Marmoush, who just made a big money move to a Premier League team in January.
We'll also, for this exercise, ignore players currently on Premier League rosters and likely to carry an extra intra-league tariff of sorts. Think Matheus Cunha, Joao Pedro, Jean-Philippe Mateta, Ollie Watkins, Bryan Mbeumo, Yoane Wissa, et. al
Anything below that is in play, money-wise, as we consider fits.
Level jumpers — Can they thrive quickly after making a big leap in league?
Samu Aghehowa, Porto — Love this player. Still 20 for another month, Aghehowa — you might know him as Samuel Omorodion but he changed his name in November in honor of his mother — is raw in some places but an absolutely lethal finisher. He has 15 goals from 23 games in his first season in the Portuguese Primera Liga and scored against Man United (2x), AS Roma, and Hoffenheim amongst his six Europa League goals to somewhat ease concerns about the jump from Portugal to England. He cost Porto around $40 million from Atletico Madrid.
Viktor Gyokeres, Sporting Lisbon — There are reports that Ruben Amorim's former talisman has an agreement to leave Lisbon for less than his release clause, and has 42 goals and 11 assists in 42 games this season after scoring 43 in 50 last season. His solid production in the Champions League and with Sweden help his case and he's scored buckets of goals in England ...
