Return Investment Joke

Blackstone plans to list some of its largest investments

Sluggish asset sales hit third-quarter profits at world’s biggest private capital group

Business - Financial Times - October 17

Why you should invest in gold before November

Not sure if now is the right time to invest in gold? Here's why you should consider acting before November.

Nvidia to unveil Thailand investment plans in December

World - Yahoo News - October 22

U.S. to Curb AI Investment in China Soon

Some technologies and financial commitments will be blocked, based on President Biden’s 2023 executive order to keep American expertise from helping the Chinese military.

Business - Inc. - October 22

Are 1-ounce gold bars a safe investment this October?

Adding gold to your portfolio can be a wise move, but there are still risks that come with this type of investing.

Habeck: Investment fund to give German economy a boost

World - Yahoo News - October 23

UK competition regulator to probe investment barriers

CMA also warns that price ‘mark-ups’ have risen over past 25 years

Business - Financial Times - October 23

Investment funds circle visual effects group Technicolor

The Paris-based moviemaking tech company is holding talks over a potential sale

Business - Financial Times - October 24

4 big gold investing mistakes to avoid this November

Don't let the rising price of gold lead you to make one of these four costly mistakes.

3 easy ways to invest in gold this November

There are some easy (and safe) ways to invest in gold this November. Here are three of them.

Meet the Top 269 Investment Firms for Founders

Here are the private equity firms, venture capital firms, and lenders that help founder-led companies grow.

Business - Inc. - October 29

Biden announces $3 billion investment in U.S. ports

President Biden announced a $3 billion investment to reinvigorate ports across the U.S. Mr. Biden spoke from the Port of Baltimore, not far from the site of the Francis Scott Key Bridge collapse.

France announces new investments in disputed Western Sahara

A French delegation visiting Morocco with President Emmanuel Macron has unveiled investment plans in the disputed Western Sahara as part of a broader suite of agreements and partnerships between ...

World - ABC News - October 29

StanChart to double investment in wealth management as profits rise

Wealth business had record quarter as revenues rose 32%

Business - Financial Times - October 30

At a Glitzy Saudi Investment Forum, Almost No Mention of War

Saudi Arabia and its Gulf neighbors are seeking to reassure foreign investors that it’s still safe to do business amid the turmoil around the Mideast.

Business - The New York Times - October 30

Slaying some of the biggest passive investing bogeymen

Goldman goes to battle

World - Financial Times - 5 days ago

Which gold investment is best when rates are cut?

Some gold assets are better than others when interest rates are dropping, experts say.

Sequoia investing into DecaartAI for engineless game creation

DecaartAI reveals a running version of Minecraft that does not use a game engine, only generative AI, potentially revolutionizing game creation.

Tech - VentureBeat - November 1

Retailers Jump at the Chance to Invest in Fifth Avenue

IKEA and Uniqlo join luxury fashion houses in owning, rather than leasing, huge retail spaces on the strip. Developers are cashing in.

Top stories - The New York Times - 4 days ago

Globant and Qiddiya Investment Company announce new partnership

World - Yahoo News - 4 days ago

The New Investment Superpower Outflanking China and the U.S. in Africa

The tiny United Arab Emirates has invested billions in east Africa, where it is now emerging as a significant player, at times muscling out China and annoying the U.S.

World - The Wall Street Journal - 3 days ago

Why you should invest in gold before 2025

There are a few big reasons to put some money into gold before the new year, experts say.

A New Trump Administration Is No Reason to Change Investing Plans

Big changes are coming in the next Trump administration. But your investing plans needn’t change, our columnist says.

Business - The New York Times - 23 hours ago

'I joked I'd give him £500 if he scored' – but did Trent experiment work?

Trent Alexander-Arnold played at left-back and scored for England in the win against Finland. But did the experiment work?

Maryland grandfather spreads joy with daily "bad dad jokes" on his front yard sign

For the past 1,640 days, Maryland grandfather Tom Schruben has written a "bad dad joke" on a sign in his front yard. He started this tradition during the pandemic to lift his spirits and it has ...

'It hurts': Baker jokes about absence from 'best friend' Andrews during the season

Baker said Andrews doesn't talk to him during the season, even though they're best friends.

Sports - ESPN - October 18

Donald Trump jokes at Al Smith dinner: 'It's a pleasure to be in New York without a subpoena'

Trump blasts Kamala Harris’s no-show as Vice President skips glamorous bash to campaign in Wisconsin

Sports - Yahoo Sports - October 18

Bill Clinton jokes about Trump 'enemy from within' remarks: 'I want him to transfer me to Guantánamo'

Former President Clinton joked about former President Trump’s "enemy from within" comments, while at a rally with Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz in Durham, N.C., Thursday. “I suppose that includes me,” ...

Politics - The Hill - October 18

Fox News says none of its employees wrote jokes for Trump to tell at traditional campaign dinner

Fox News says none of its employees wrote jokes for Donald Trump to use at an appearance this week — denying an assertion made by the former president himself

Entertainment - ABC News - October 18

Knicks' Josh Hart jokes that Celtics players need drug tests after New York's season-opening blowout loss

The Celtics knocked down a staggering 29 3-pointers in Tuesday's win

Sports - CBS Sports - October 23

Some voters joke they want to 'cancel out' family members' ballots in new TikTok trend

On TikTok, dozens of users are posting tongue-in-cheek videos about how their vote will “cancel out” someone else’s on the opposite end of the political spectrum.

'Freshly Squeezed': Pittsburgh's orange juice joke leads Week 9 CFB trolls

A number of teams went for mascot-oriented jabs after a week full of action.

Sports - ESPN - October 27

As Trump courts the Latino vote, comedian Tony Hinchcliffe makes racist jokes at MSG rally

As Donald Trump courts the community’s vote, comedian Tony Hinchcliffe crudely mocked Latinos during the pre-program of the former president’s Madison Square Garden rally.

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